Personal Interview

So lately, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things in my life. Like my last post, a lot of it has to deal with my financial issues. Money has been bothering me sooo much these days! It’s even come to a point where I really can’t do some of my homework cause of it. But I’ve come to a realization that a lot of the reason behind it is due to my pride. I’m so prideful when it comes to money. When people offer to pay for me or ask if I need anything, I often respond back saying things like, “No, it’s ok, I’m fine,” when in all honesty, I really need the help. I know for some people, $10 isn’t a lot of money at all, but in my case, it is a lot…Ok ok pause, what am I really trying to get at? Oh yea, I’m pretty prideful when it comes to money. That’s what I’m trying to say. So as a way to resolve this issue, I’m trying to meet up with people to talk to about this problem. Currently, I would say this is my biggest issue right now, but there are always more at hand.

Ok, other than my own personal problems, how is Tony Yang doing? Let’s ask him!

“Well, Tony, how are you doing nowadays?”

“Well, I’m alright. Today, I was watching some people play Rumikub or however you spell it, and I really feel like I would be a great player! I really like games like that where it takes a lot of brain power to manipulate the game to my liking. I also got a new phone. It’s pretty nice actually. Everyone I met today were super happy when they heard I finally got one ’cause I’ve been phoneless for almost 3 months now. Pretty crazy stuff but eh, oh well, I didn’t mind being phoneless for that long. Aside from that note, recently, I’ve been trying to develop better habits. I’m tryin to stop playing so much games, stop procrastinating so often, and just be a good student in general. I know it’s hard, but I really feel like I could do it this semester. If I keep up with it, then I really know that I can accomplish more in the future! There are just a few things that I would like from other people though, and that is accountability. Please PLEASE if any of you see or hear that I’m slacking off, I would like you to tell me. I won’t get offended or anything, trust me, I’m a nice guy. But I really just need people to tell me when to study and stuff like that.

Hm, can’t really think of anything else right now. OH YEA! This is a special shout-out to Heather Chan. Heather, if you’re out there reading this, then you better have some tissue next to you or somethin’ ahah. Ok here we go.

Dear Heather,

I still can’t believe that you aren’t here with us at UIC this semester. Every time I walk into your cluster, and I pass by your old room, I can’t help but feel a little down. Yes I know that Eunice lives there and don’t get me wrong, Eunice Oh is a pretty cool person, but in all honesty, it’s just not the same. During these past two weeks, there were some small minor details that reminded me of you.  I already told you them but it doesn’t hurt to mention it again. Now that you’re gone, I don’t have anyone to laugh out loud at my burps and call me Tonysaurus. Remember that time we came back from Greektown and I burped in your hair without knowing it until you told me? Man, funny stuff. There was this one time at the gym where EVERYONE was there! The ballers, your clustermates, and other people who worked out or were at the gym when it closed. I just miss it when you would also come out with Cassie and Selina and whoever else from the girls’ locker room and come talk to all of us. And then we would usually talk about basketball or working out. In all honesty, I think we talked about cute boy more than basketball or working out ahah. As weird as this sounds, I’ll miss getting IM’s from you requesting songs. When you did that, it also meant that I would get new songs to listen to so it’s a win/win situation for me as well. Another thing I’ll miss is our times in the cafeteria. You would ALWAYS make me food! Or at least go get food with me and then we would critique food together, although most of the time it was usually you doing all the talking while I’m doing all the eating ahah. I’ll most definitely miss our long, stupid, carefree, random, yet honest talks. Man there were too many to remember, but all I’m saying is once you’re back, we’re gonna have even more of those. We can still have more of those too but I need to get skype or a webcam first (sorry!). Well anyways, what I want to say is that I’ll miss you, and I can’t wait for summer when you’re back so we can go out to Dunkin Donuts and talk about Munchkins again . Have fun in Italy, don’t leave here with regrets and don’t come back home with regrets. You’ll be in all of our prayers, and I hope you can also continue living out your faith overseas. Bye Heather!

Sincerely,

Tonz

Money

So, I’ve come to a realization during this past semester: people just really don’t understand it when I say I’m poor. When I say I’m broke or I’m poor, I just really am. I don’t have much money to use, whether it be with me or in my bank account. I know people say “I’m broke. I gotta save money…” ALL THE TIME! I know that already! But I just feel like it’s different with me. Why? Just because I know for a fact that my family isn’t blessed like many other families. We aren’t like your typical Asian-American families. We don’t have fancy cars, a big house, high-paying jobs, nothing like that at all. I live in a small house, one story and a basement. During the summer, the number of people who live in my house can go as high up as 10 people! Craziness…My parent’s don’t really have high-paying jobs. It’s still difficult to manage ALL of us kids’ school tuition, 2 of us being in college, the other 2 in high school still. Not to mention my mom and sister are living in St. Louis with my step-dad who won’t even let my sister come visit us at all. Well, what I’m trying to get at is that people other than Hmong people (no offense) REALLY don’t understand my situation, let alone most every Hmong student’s situation. I’m not trying to say that I want to get rich and everything. It’s just that I can’t do a lot of things that people WANT to do like snowboarding all the time or go out and eating at some pretty cool restaurants. When it comes to hanging out, can we just sit back and chill? That’s all I really want to do. No spending money, no fancy restaurants, no expensive trips. Just sit back, relax, and have fun with friends and family. I know at times people want to go out for special occasions, and I know there are people out there who would love to go but can’t because of financial issues. I always fall under that case. But seriously, who needs money when it comes to hanging out?! Well, I hope this also DOESN’T stop people from making plans about going out and stuff like that. By all means, going out and having fun is fun still. But not ALL the time do people have enough money to do certain things. Ok ok, I really don’t know where I’m going with this right now, I’m just ranting now. But yes, like I was saying earlier, my family doesn’t fall under that “rich Asian-American family” category. Sometimes I wish we had more money, but things don’t happen that way. And yes, I know this too: God doesn’t call those who have, He calls those who do not have. I still find grace through my family’s financial issues, and that’s always a good thing too.

Well, this is about it. This is kind of what’s been going through my mind these past few days. It’s not the ONLY thing, but it’s one of ‘em. There are just some things I just can’t write in a blog ahah. If you want to know, come find me

Chill and laid-back

If I would describe myself in a few words, I would use chill and laid-back. Why? Because that’s how I am! Plus, people have told me that I’m a pretty chill and laid-back kind of guy. But right now, things are…you can say, a little rough, primarily more on the academic side. I am total hypocrite when it comes to school. I tell people to study all the time, yet I don’t even do it. What’s wrong with me?! I can’t even simply sit down and open a text book. This part also conflicts with reading the Bible. BECAUSE I can never sit and read out of my own free time with any kind of books like fiction books, it’s hard for me to simply open up the Word. And by this time, my chill and laid-back personality kicks in and tells me to just chill and go with the flow. Geez, it’s pretty hard to be chill and laid-back huh.

Things in the mind

The school year is going by faster than I could ever imagine. One semester is already done and over with. In this short amount of time, I’ve made so many new friends. The freshmen this year sure are encouraging to see and talk to. It makes me wonder, “Was I like them last year too?” People DID call me a “star freshman” but was I really? Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. But one thing is certain, being known as a star freshman sure does have it’s benefits. I partook in every Intervarsity event last year; I learned a lot about God as well as my own self. I hope the freshmen this year take advantage of their resources and go to the events.
Man, just after Thanksgiving weekend, there will only be two more weeks of school left until Winter Break. That’s crazy! I hope I can finish strong. If there are any prayer requests from me, one of them is to definitely to finish school strong.
Honestly, right now, I really feel like I’m not a big part of people’s lives. Yea yea, I know this is sad but it just feels that way. Well, the only place where I feel like that is mostly at school. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m a different nationality from everyone else so I can’t talk to them or relate as much, or maybe it’s just because it’s hard for me to be “comfortable” around everyone. I really suck at opening up to people and sharing about personal issues. Maybe the reason is because I’m an intravert (however you spell it). And yes, deep down inside, I am an intravert, although some don’t believe me. Dang it, I sound like a sap right now. Well, at least I’m aware of these feelings. Hopefully, with God at my side, I can change them.
Ok this is kind of off-topic but I was talking to a certain someone the other day. We were discussing how all the graduates last year had a certain “personality” that was very distinguishable. If you’re confused, allow me to give an example. What is the first thing that pops into your mind when I mention the name, Joe Song? For me, he was a crazy guy but very passionate about God. He didn’t care about punishment or consequences when he does something wrong or bad such as shooting fireworks at Chapter Focus Week (I wasn’t there but I hear stories). Ok, now you see where I’m going with this. Every graduate had their own identity. And EVERYONE (who knew them that is) knows their personality. Tim Poon, Tim Jiang, Paul Kim, Phil Hwang, Cary Chan, and much more (sorry if I didn’t mention your name). Now going back to my talk with a friend, we talking about how people would desribe US when we are either seniors or graduates. Will people be able to think back and say this and that about Tony Yang?! If so, I wonder what it would be. I can’t really describe myself that well so I can’t really help myself. BUT, I just wonder about these things, that’s all.
Well, to combine everything I said together, I’m just hoping I can be able to change to better myself. And in the process of this change, I hope I can have an impact, small or big, in people’s lives.
That’s it for now. Peace out.

Interesting…

So I’m new here on WordPress. Right now, I’m gonna try and make my page look cool with a template or design. I will be back and write more hopefully soon. Peace.

::edit::

So I finally have a better understanding of how to maneuver around WordPress. It’s pretty cool. Now I want to create my own CSS style sheet but that will be hard just cause I’m a pretty lazy guy…